Okay, so the bullet has been bitten. DH and I have done it: we have made our teenager mobile on something more than a pushbike. The moped is now legal, and he is insured, but heck, it has taken some doing.
When DS started school in Cambridge, we duly coughed up the £95 for half a term's bus pass, having made the decision that we would buy him a moped. After all, it was not going to be feasible in the long term for him to be catching a bus at 6.40am every day for the next two years. Thanks, Stagecoach, by the way, for deciding that one bus an hour is a sufficient service for our village, and that they only need to run a bus to two of the three sixth form colleges in Cambridge. Yes, my son's is the other one.
After much trawling, and wondering at the cost of a brand-new moped, we purchased a moped of Ebay. Yes, I know,
caveat emptor and all that, particularly given that the vendor wanted cash only. But the 'ped was listed as having only dealer miles on it, and when we went to collect it from Leicester, it certainly looked new enough, without a scratch on the paintwork.
So, I sent of the paperwork to register it, by requesting a V5. First mistake, there was more to the process than that. Okay, I was working down near Chelmsford, so I thought I would pop into the DVLA Local Office there, and find out exactly what I needed. First indication that it might be a bit more complex than I thought was the guy behind the desk rolling his eyes at the mention of an Ebay purchase. Now, it could be argued that it was hardly professional of him to give his opinion in that manner, but he seemed helpful enough as he wrote out a (long) list of all the forms I needed to fill in. It seemed that even though I was, in effect, the second owner of the 'ped, the lads having bought the bike themselves at an auction, I would also be liable for Customs & Excise dues, because it was a new registration Oh deep joy! Maybe buying this bike was not going to be worth the hassle after all.
But still, the old bul****t alarm was going. Something didn't quite ring true. So I started doing a bit of investigation. The 'ped was a Malaguti Firefox F15. Loads of reviews on the internet for it, but hmmm, the dates of the reviews were all quite old, as it late 1990s or early 2000 at the latest. Eventually worked my way to the Malaguti website, and it turns out that the Firefox is an older model, as in it is no longer manufactured, having been superceded by newer designs. Then, on taking another look through the paperwork that the lads had given me, I found a 'Malaguti Warranty' and a document for the installation of the immobiliser system, both dated 1998. I went back to the DVLA office in Chelmsford with these two documents, only to be told that they were not sufficient proof of age, that I would still need to have a full Single Vehicle Approval test carried out (£80), but shed a glimmer of hope saying that I would need a European Certificate of Conformity from the manufacturer as sufficient prooof, and that this had to be an original as e-mails were not acceptable. And, by the way, the first guy had given me the wrong information on the forms that I needed to fill in. So new form in hand, I went in search of the European CofC.
I tracked down the current importer of Malaguti motorbikes, and explained the problem to him. He promised to ask Malaguti for me, having confimed that the Firefox was not a current model, and then never came back to me. No replies to follow up e-mails or faxes. So I tried the company who had installed the immobiliser. It transpired that they were the original importer of the bike. "Yay!", I thought; I can obtain proof of the bike's manufacture date, which would mean only needing a partial MVSA. Unfortunately not, as their computer database only went back to Y2K. So, back to square one, it seemed. I was all but resigned to having to fork out £80 for the VOSA check, when I found that the Malaguti website had been updated and now had a phone number.
I had nothing to lose, sitting at a meeting in London one day, so I phoned Italy. Hopeful start, the automated voice was in both Italian an English. I asked for the After Sales department, as was put through the to lovely Ricardo Orsi, who, it would seem, is the Export Department. I explained my problem. He asked if I had the VIN number, which I gave him. As I was reading out the number, he could be heard typing it into his computer. Yes, he was able to confirm that the bike had been shipped to the UK on 29th May 1998. But then, he said, this predated the European CofC scheme, so he couldn't issue one of those. However, he was happy to send me a letter confirming that they were the manufacturer, and that the bike had been shipped out in 1998. Ooooh, I was quite excited at this point. Finally, we might be seeing light at the end of the tunnel.
Back to the internet then, to research what happens if the bike predates the European CofC system. That was when things became really interesting. It seems that if a bike is over ten years old, and proof of that can be obtained, then all that was required in addition was an MOT and insurance made out on the VIN number, a single DVLA form, the Revenue form, and payment of the appropriate fees of £55 for registration and £15 for the road tax.
Eventually, the wonderful Mr Orsi sent me an e-mail with a .pdf scan of the letter he was sending. I arranged for the MOT, and made enquiries on the insurance. I was advised that the easiest way to register the bike was to take out the insurance in my name, have the bike registered to me, and then transfer ownership to my son, so that he could take out his own insurance, and I cancel the policy in my name.
At this juncture, I had also decided that I had had enough of the confusion from Chelmsford, and as there was a DVLA office in Peterborough, where the dealers in Cambridge took all their bikes, I would try there. But first, not wanting to make an unnecessary trip, or find out that I needed to take the bike to Peterborough with me, I phoned the DVLA in Swansea to checked the score. And this was the real bombshell. No, I didn't need to take the bike, and since it was imported from Italy, an EC member state, it seemed that customs duties might not be due. Given that this could be another £150, this was quite a key bit of information. As suggested, I phoned the New Vehicle people down in Dover. They gave me the best pre-Christmas news going: the bike had entered the country more than six years ago, from an EC member state. No customs dues were payable. The lovely lady on the phone explained that they don't chase up bikes older than six years, and the question only arises because of the bikes coming in from the Far East. A near hiccup: I looked at the DVLA form, and realised that there were boxes on there that I had no idea how to complete, and the form was quite clear: incomplete forms would be rejected. So near and yet so far. Another call to Swansea, and maybe it was pre-Christmas good cheer, but I encountered my third helpful civil servant of the day. He talked me through the form, and reassured me that I didn't have to complete all the boxes.
At last, forms and chequebook in hand, DH and I went to Peterborough. It was the 14th December. Clearly plans for this to be a birthday present in November for DS had gone completely to pot, but maybe, just maybe, we might be able to make it a Christmas present. Fourth helpful civil servant of the day (and fifth, if you count her colleague on the other desk), looked over the paperwork, confirmed it was all in order. Was there any chance, I asked, that the registration document could be available by Thursday 16th December, as I was working in Peterborough that day. A quick discussion between the ladies and they agreed to try. I would like to think that they were embarrassed at the level of misdirection from the folks at Chelmsford. She took my phone number and promised me that she would call if there were any problems.
On Wednesday, she phoned. On going through all the paperwork I had given her, she had noticed that I had bought the bike 'as new'. Did this mean I was hoping for a '10' plate for it, as this would make it all more complex, and not likely to be completed by Christmas. Nooooo, I assured her. I would be more than happy with a 1998 plate, if that was easier.
Thursday 16th December arrived, one day before my last day with the Ginormous Pharma Company, and I went to Peterborough. Within moments of arriving at the DVLA office, I had the precious document which permitted me to obtain a registration plate. Was there, by any chance, somewhere in Peterborough that I could have this done. There was: one of those bastions of male-vehicle-oriented-grease-and-incomprehensible-parts. So I braved its portals, and the arcane language being uttered by its inhabitants. £5.00 later and I was clutching my precious numberplate.
I phoned the insurance company only to discover that if I added DS to the insurance as a named rider, he could not use the 'ped to commute, which included travelling to college. There's me thinking that commuting is something you do to paid employment, but clearly not for insurance purposes. Christmas Eve, and the V5 turns up from Swansea. So, I transfer the bike to DS, he signs on the dotted line, and I buy insurance for him in his name, meaning he can use the bike to 'commute' to college.
Then, Christmas Day. Imagine DS's surprise when he finds a packet of nuts and bolts in his stocking. Now, our family draws out the present opening thing, to make the day last longer and maintain the wonder of Christmas. Over the day, he unwraps a new jacket for riding his moped. Very useful, but not what he was hoping for. Then comes the final present. He unwraps it carefully, having been informed that it is fragile. His eyes light up with delight as the number plate is revealed.
"But, Mummy, I need the tax disc and L-plates." he says.
"Go fetch my red folder from the kitchen." I told him. Fishing around, I pull out the tax disc, which I had had for the last ten days.
"But I still need L-plates." He said
"Go look on the tumble dryer in the kitchen." I replied, knowing that DH had hidden them there.
I think the whoop of delight could be heard at the other end of the village. Now all that is needed is DH to affix the plate, L-plates and tax disc to the 'ped, and DS will be on his first motorised transport.
Am I nervous? Hell yes! But, it is also part of being a mother. The strings have to be cut at some point, and being responsible for transporting himself to college is going to make a huge difference to DS. I just need to worry about when he will utter the immortal words,
"Mummy, can I do my 125cc bike test soon?"